yeah i miss him, but he doesn't really care, so why bother.

but I still can't shake these feelings off. I always do this to myself you know, build up a wall then realize I actually love the person. Before I actually do anything, or muster up the courage to do anything, it's too late. I don't know if it was sincere or not, I don't know if we were just so desperate for a relationship that we took things too fast. I would like to think that all those messages were sincere. Because I can;t take another reality of someone playing me to step-up their game, I've had too much of that already. But I do miss zach, you have no fucking idea how much I miss you,  and it's my fault too.

..feelings--they suck.