yeah i miss him, but he doesn't really care, so why bother.

but I still can't shake these feelings off. I always do this to myself you know, build up a wall then realize I actually love the person. Before I actually do anything, or muster up the courage to do anything, it's too late. I don't know if it was sincere or not, I don't know if we were just so desperate for a relationship that we took things too fast. I would like to think that all those messages were sincere. Because I can;t take another reality of someone playing me to step-up their game, I've had too much of that already. But I do miss zach, you have no fucking idea how much I miss you,  and it's my fault too.

..feelings--they suck.

Not entirely excited to go back to uni tomorrow. Thinking about the what if's doesn't help either. Wish I had everything sorted out.

have you ever reached a point in your life where you just get tired of everything?
Tired of the people around you, tired of the same old routine you do everyday.
It's come to a point now where the only exciting thing that's happening in my life right now, is when I talk to someone I've never met before and actually have a decent conversation with them-- and the pathetic part of this situation is -- it all happens online.

People have dreams , whether it be practical or insanely impractical. They say that when you overthink things that's when you lose. I've come to a point in my life where I've accepted the fact that maybe this is where I should be, this is my role in the universe--the mediocre filler, to make way for those people who are destined for something greater. Everytime that reality sinks in-- as pathetic as this sounds I can't help but cry.