Finishing was never one of my strong suits. Ever since I was a kid, every time my parents put me up to something like ballet, gymnastics, badminton... (actually achieved something in this sport but i just found myself not attending school practices) the list goes on and on. I never seem to finish them. It's either I get tired of it or, something pops up and prevents me from continuing said activity.
Why am I going on about not finishing shit? Well, you see my non existent follower; ready for this? I'm scared of not living. I'm always scared of trying new things, things I've always wanted to do. Like say, I wanted to apply for this internship but I'm too scared to get rejected so I kept putting it off and putting it off until I just forgot about the damn thing. The deadline passed and I said to myself, "AHH there's always next year." Every time this happens to me, and every fucking time I tell myself I'll straighten up and be productive, but no. My own scared ass is too lazy to do anything. NOTHING EVER GETS DONE.
Maybe that's what I'm really built to be. A bum. A bum who has lots of dreams but is too scared and sadly, doesn't have the skills to achieve them. Everywhere I look there's always someone, the same age as me who already has a job, or has won some big award. Every time I see things like that. I tell myself. What the hell am I doing with my life? I wouldn't be surprised after 10 years or so I'll be stuck in some 9-5 job, loathing my life, regretting all the things i passed up and telling myself. This is all your fault. PUSSY.
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